True Confessions

In Chapter 6, "Diction," Trimble talks about different aspects of writing. He breaks it down like so:

• conciseness
• vigorous verbs
• freshness

Definitely, I need to work the most on conciseness in my writing. I tend to think in circles, and I express myself better orally rather than writingly (that's probably not a word). This usually shows in my writing, and often I don't have the patience or attention span to edit properly. Soooo yeahh.

How to Close a Short Essay

• Talk about your main argument

 Ohheyy, there you are:

Haven't seen you here before Main Argument:

• Put in one new creative twist

Creative twistiness:

What is this newness you speak of?:

• Close with something emotional

Awwww, c'mere man:

Now that's a good closer right there:

(2 Par. RE: My Own Commercial) Slogans: A reflection of a company or society?

The McDonald's commercial this post refers to can be found here.

The slogan presented in this McDonald’s commercial is “come as you are,” implying that everyone is welcome at McDonald’s. In this commercial, a boy is portrayed as being gay, although it is not clear as to whether or not his father knows. Analysis here can go one of two ways; (1) a look at McDonald’s and culture or (2) a look at McDonald’s attempt to re-brand itself in the recent past.

While one might see this commercial and think McDonald’s is trying to show solidarity with the LGBTQ* community in taking a stand for equality, another perspective is looking at this ad as a reflection of the society it runs in rather than that of the company. This ad runs in France, not in the US. Although LGBTQ* awareness has been raised all over the world, especially with the struggle for equality in the US, one must question why this ad has not run in the US. Is it generally more accepted in France to be gay than in the US? What does this say about the consumer culture of France versus that of the US? It is this kind of questioning that makes one wonder at what this slogan really means, and if McDonald’s is really carrying it out.

(2 Par. RE: Heineken) Wish Fullfillment & Gender Roles (FINAL)

The commercial this post refers to can be found here.

If the dream, as presented in this Heineken commercial, of women is a walk-in closet, full of jewelry, shoes and clothes, a parallel is immediately found in the “dream” of men, as presented in this commercial, being a walk-in fridge filled with Heineken.

The Heineken commercial portrays a group of women screaming and generally acting quite excited over a walk-in closet, while a group of men is quite excited over a walk-in fridge of Heineken. One must question, however, why only men get excited over Heineken in this commercial; why don’t women as well? Although Heineken sells to a particular audience, namely ESPN, one might say Heineken could be seen as less desirable if both men and women get excited over it. Upon questioning this, one can see this line of questioning going deeper and well beyond a Heineken commercial. What does stereotyping the beer to a man’s dream say about the society as a whole? It highlights the societal and cultural construction of gender roles, and the association of masculinity and femininity with particular gender roles. It has been established throughout history that femininity is less desirable than masculinity, and as such, one may be considered “less of a man” for possessing feminine qualities. This relation goes so deep that even portraying women getting excited over Heineken as well as men associates femininity with men, making the product (Heineken) less desirable to the aimed audience (men).

(2 Par. RE: ATT) Globalization & the Age of Information Technology (FINAL)

The commercial this post refers to can be found here.

In this ATT commercial, two children (presumably Hansel & Gretel) are portrayed walking down the street of an imaginary city created by ATT. Both children are young and their clothing style seems to be rather out of place in a city such as the one cast by ATT. They are alone, and appear to get lost. The city is portrayed to be more dangerous after they get lost, with a shot of the high rise buildings looming over the children, and a man closing down a shop with bars across the front. A few things should be noted here; (1) these children are quite obviously out of place, most likely from another country; (2) the [foreign] city they are travelling through is portrayed as dangerous, until they look at the GPS on their cell phone (implying that ATT saves the day).

This commercial implies that it is the technology, provided by ATT, that saves these children from ending up horribly lost. There are a couple of different ways this commercial fulfills its aim, namely to sell the idea of ATT to consumers. The first, and most obvious, is the play upon a mother’s fear of losing her child. This ensures that a mother will at least think twice before not buying her younger children cell phones. The second is through the representation of the children as the “loss of innocence” to technology. As more and more technology is reaching younger and younger audiences, one must question how it affects children such as the ones in the commercial. The younger children are when introduced to technology, the more dependent upon it they become. They don’t know another way of living, which is represented in the initial dropping of the bread crumbs to find their way back home. This “other” way of living is quickly dispelled, however, in the consumption of the bread crumbs. Although new technology such as this fuels the increasing globalization of people, less and less people actually know where they are without this technology. This increasing dependency upon technology ensures the continuation of companies such as ATT.

Quickwrite RE: McDonald's (observations/questions)

The McDonald's commercial this post refers to can be found here.

slogan = "come as you are" => all are welcome(?)

=> McDonald's has been attempting to re-brand itself for the past however many years, is this another ploy in advancing the re-branding of this franchise? To take a stand with an issue in an attempt to connect with consumers?

=> is this commercial meant to "take a stand?" is the intent to showcase McDonald's moral/ethical stance, or just to keep consumption up?


=> why hasn't this commercial been played in the US (it is a French commercial)?


=> is this a reflection of McDonald's "opinion" or upon that of the society it comes from (France)?

***=> In the US, a hate crime was committed at a McDonald's in which two girls brutally beat a transgender woman. The girls received up to 9 years in prison, with 5 years taken off (with probation), and it is highly contested as to whether this should be considered a hate crime. DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY COMMERCIALS LIKE THIS ARE NOT PLAYED IN THE US? If the goal is to re-brand a McDonald's, why would commercials such as these NOT play in the US?

=> does the kid's father know he has a boyfriend?

=> why is everything so implicit in this commercial? - nothing directly links boy as gay, if he has a boyfriend, or if his father knows about any of it

Quickwrite RE: ATT re-draft/pre-final draft

*pick one line of analysis & stick with it!

#5- children represent the "loss of innocence" to technology

      =>by playing on the fear of mothers', ATT ensures their technology will reach younger & younger audiences

            => how does this technology affect children at such a young age/of this generation?

                 => they become dependent upon it; they don't know another way of living

                       => although new technology such as this fuels the increasing globalization of people, less & less people
                             actually know where they are or where they would be without this technology


=>THIS ensures ATT's continuing existance (the higher & higher dependency upon this technology, sold by ATT)

Quickwrite RE: Heineken re-draft/pre-final draft

Men excited over Heineken; women excited over shoes, clothes, jewelry.

=> women WANT those things; men WANT Heineken

=> Why don't women get excited over Heineken too?

=> Heineken sells to a particular audience (ESPN, etc.) & it might make Heineken less appealing if both men & women get excited over it

=> WHY?? What does this say about the "gendering"  of certain things or activities (esp. beer) in American society? Why is Heineken every man's dream?

--> gender roles in relation to masculinity/femininity established
--> associations have been made throughout the past that masculinity=men (any femininity & one's manhood is questioned) & femininity=women (any masculinity, since the feminist movement, is celebrated)
--> therefore, less masculine=less of a man & less feminine=okay

WHY IS IT "OKAY" FOR A WOMAN TO BE MASCULINE/LESS FEMININE, BUT NOT FOR A MAN TO BE FEMININE/LESS MASCULINE? WHY IS MASCULINITY SO INTERTWINED WITH "BEING A MAN?" DOES ONE HAVE TO BE MASCULINE TO BE A MAN?

FFW- What is your writing process like? 9/16/11

As a rule almost, I hate the writing process, no matter what form it takes. The editing, multiple drafts, etc. Through most of my life, my writing process has consisted of only a few steps, depending on what happens when/if given a topic. I am a visual writer, and often "write" in charts, or in a brainstorm-style, and even now I as I type this into my blog from my notes in class, it is going from a visual flowchart-like style to a paragraph style (mostly due to the limitations of the computer & this blog).

When given a topic, I may be less than enthused about it, in which case I complain about it & tend to put off the assignment until the last possible moment, pulling something out of my arse at the last second. On the other hand, I may be excited, angry, etc. or simply inspired, in which case I immediately begin jotting down notes; fragmented thoughts in margins, on my body, etc. I most likely will not find these notes again, or even understand them if I do find them. I then use visuals to layout my idea(s) such as charts, bubbles, etc., and from there a haphazard outline may form. At this point, I tend to get very frustrated if it doesn't come together well, or in a way that I like it. [One thing to note is that although I'm aware that one does not always have to tell the truth, or reflect one's own perspective in a piece of writing, I have a very difficult time executing a piece of writing that does not reflect my own perspective. I think it might have something to do with the passion/inspiration bit.]

Here is where I give up on the idea of writing something amazing about a topic. If you couldn't guess, this is also where I get stuck a lot of times. I either have forgotten about the writing assignment, gotten too frustrated & left it be, or simply cannot fuel my arguments any longer. It won't usually be until an idea smacks me in the head during a shower, practice, etc. that I will continue writing again. Even then, I usually have completely changed my point of view on a topic. Coming round the bend, this is the point at which I turn in a piece of writing without much, if any, edits and a sigh of relief that it's over.



**An interesting note RE: the writing process**
I learned about the design process in my production class for theatre the other day, and my Professor, Jim Hart, mentioned that it works wonders when applied to the writing process. I thought I'd list the steps of the design process here:

1. Commitment
2. Analysis
3. Research
4. Incubation* 
5. Selection
6. Implementation
7. Evaluation**

*Especially important, no matter what one uses these steps for; also the most often skipped step.

**In the case of writing in college, it is typically the Professor that follows through with this step.

Travel, Globalization & the Age of Information Technology in the ATT Commercial (Rough)

In this ATT commercial, two children (presumably Hansel & Gretel) are portrayed walking down the street of an imaginary city created by ATT. Both children are young and their clothing style seems to be rather out of place in a city such as the one cast by ATT. They are alone, and appear to get lost. The city is portrayed to be more dangerous after they get lost, with a shot of the high rise buildings looming over the children, and a man closing down a shop with bars across the front. A few things should be noted here; (1) these children are quite obviously out of place, most likely from another country; (2) the [foreign] city they are travelling through is portrayed as dangerous for most of the commercial.

Although this commercial clearly plays on the mother's fear of lost children, one must still question why these children are portrayed as such foreigners to the city. A few different answers may be analyzed from this observation; (1) the world and technology is in such a state of globalization, foreigners in a big city is no longer considered "out of place;" (2) a metaphor can be gleaned representing that the city is an unfit place to raise children, pushing the idea of raising kids & having a family in the suburbs; (3) the children are only dressed as such to connect & communicate the Hansel & Gretel story included in the commercial as quickly and efficiently as possible; (4) the children may simply represent innocence/ignorance in an age of information technology; or (5) the children represent the growth from innocence/ignorance (their clothes appear quite dated- connecting us to history, or the past somehow) through to this information technology age, with ATT ruling the technology age (as presented in the creation of a city by ATT with covert references to ATT). What is portrayed overall in regards to travel in the age of globalization in this commercial is that no matter who is travelling or to where, ATT cell service is what will keep you on track/not get you lost/save you from the dangers of going to "the wrong side of town."

Asking the Right Questions- 12 Questions RE: ATT commercial & slight analyses

The ATT commercial I'm referring to can be found here.

1. who is the audience? => mothers
2. what is significance of Hansel & Gretel story?
3. what is ATT selling?
4. Wat does this tell the audience about travel?
5. Why are the children alone? What is the significance?
6. why are they in the city? => they're lost?
7. why drop bread crumbs if they have cell phone?
8. where are they? => city created by ATT (with covert "raising the bar" logo)
9. why include this part of the Hansel & gretel story? => to play on mother's fear of lost children
10. why do 8-year-olds have a cell phone? => commercial is saying this is normal; sets the normality, which makes others want to buy cell phone at younger age

Asking the Right Questions- 12 Questions RE: Heineken Commercial

A link to the Heineken commercial I'm referring to can be found in an earlier post of this blog.

(WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW?)

1. What does it mean if the living space is new to the men & women?
2. Why present the women before the men? What does the order mean?
3. Who are the men & women? What are their relationships to eachother?
4. Are these people wealthy?
5. How do the reactions of the men differ from those of the women? What does this mean?
6. Why do their reactions differ?
7. Why aren't the women screaming for Heineken?
8. Who is the audience?
9. What does the Heineken commercial say about men & women?
10. Why aren't the men screaming for shoes, etc.?

10 Things Baseball Players Do (plus a few more from classmates)

• bat
• get paid
• run
• chew tobacco
• wear helmets
• throw balls
• carry a bat
• wear gloves
• hit homeruns
• spit
• hit ball
• throw
• run bases
• work out
• get paid
• curse
• itch
• sweat
• catch
• slide
• give interviews
• fight
• play baseball
• practice
• sleep
• talk on TV
• eat
• wear jersey
• endorse companies

*Take 5 completely separate, unrelated nouns & pair any verb from original list with any noun from new one. Think of the imagery this presents with these new pairings.

• book
• fan
• water bottle
• balloon
• dog
• aardvark

=> catching dogs
=> eating balloons
=> wearing fans
=> spitting books ==> angry, spiteful books

Links to commericals found on my own

I was going to only post one link, but I found two that were just too good not to post...

These both are from France, actually. I found them independently of each other, and only found out their country of origin after deciding I wanted to post them both.

1) A McDonald's advert is found here.

2) A Twingo (car company) advert can be found here.

Wish Fullfillment in Heineken Commercial (rough)

If the dream, as presented in this Heineken commercial, of women is a walk-in closet, full of jewelry, shoes and clothes, a parallel is immediately found in the dream of men, as presented in this commercial, being a walk-in fridge filled with Heineken.

The Heineken commercial portrays a group of women screaming and generally acting quite excited over a walk-in closet one of them shows. This closet is filled with clothes, shoes and jewelry- the accepted stereotype of every woman's dream. The commercial then portrays a group of men yelling, jumping up and down and fist pumping the air over a walk-in fridge full of Heineken beer. In presenting this comprable image to the women's closet filled with "every woman's dream," the intent implies a closet full of Heineken is "every man's dream." Overall, the Heineken commercial plays on the wish fullfillment of the audience's (or consumer's) dream with the suggestion that Heineken is every man's dream.

FFW- 9/12/11 (5 min.)

John Trimble makes the case that all writers are like warriors, defending claims and fortifying arguments. How do you respond to this trope, this figurative turn?

I think Trimble's case is quite valid in that writers* are like warriors; no matter what one writes, the very basis is allowing someone else to be part of that world, which involves defending the logic presented and strengthening the vision. In order to get someone else to see one's own vision, one must attack and break down barriers of stereotypes, thoughts, opinions, pre-conceived notions and the like, essentially forcing a writer to be a warrior (offense & defense).
*It also depends on the definition of a writer- is one who writes a writer? Does one need to have published works to be a writer? etc.

(2 Par. RE: PANTENE COMMERCIAL) In-Group vs. Outsider; what makes one "normal?" (FINAL)

This Pantene commercial portrays the idea of being normal in Thai society as being a member of the in-group, which, in this case, is successful musicians. There is a prompt contrast presented between two girls; one whose mother supports her in playing the piano, and one whose mother does not support her in playing the violin because she is deaf. The commercial portrays the assumption that the violinist cannot play successfully or well due to her deafness, leaving her on the outside of normalcy. There is also present the concept that to be a musician in Thai society, one must be successful; this link between the violinist's mother not supporting the normal path for her daughter and her deafness implies the connection between being a successful musician and the sound coming from the instrument. If there is no potential for one to hear, one cannot become a successful musician.

The norm of becoming a successful musician presented in this commercial places the violinist on the outside of normalcy, which may influence her determination to become a successful musician, despite obstacles such as finding a teacher, learning further to play the violin and the smashing of her violin at one point. The success of a musician, in this commercial, seems to be evaluated at a classical concert showcase. The audience does not immediately jump to its feet after the violinist's performance, portraying the violinist's initial exclusion from the in-group; however, after one man begins, the entire audience claps with thunderous applause, signifying the violinist's acceptance into the in-group. While being a successful musician is counted as part of the in-group, one more factor presents itself in the violinist's performance. The violinist not only overcomes various obstacles to play the violin at the concert, she does so with beautiful, shiny hair. This commercial also qualifies being normal, or a member of the in-group as having beautiful, shiny hair. The way to have beautiful, shiny hair, of course, is to buy the Pantene line of hair products.

12 minute freewrite....let's see what happens

So here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging. Writing online makes me feel at home. I have another blog I write on and I post pictures and everything. It makes me fell attached or connected to my firends, when I see something they've written or a picture they've posted and I connect to it for some reason or another. Im not sure why, but so it is. I ahve to start this blog for a class I'm taking, but it makes me slightly apprehensive because i type really fast with alot of mistakes, so typing for 12 straight minutes with no error corrections is quite strange for me. What's also strange is knowing that people I see everyday can read this. My other blog isn't something i necessarily share(d) with people back home or here willingly. it's very personal to me, therefore i've associated blogging with a way to express very personal feelings and views on the world and life of mine. idunno if that makes much sense, but i understood it. now, i seem to be stuck, but i believe i have more time to fill, so i'm typing what's in my mind at this very momemnt, which happens to be chocolate bananas. I quite like bananas, but I haven't had many since I came to New York. Coming to New York has been quite an adventure. I'm from California, and the vidbe (vibe) is very different here versus there. I sort of encompass the it's-all-good-go-wiht-the-flow california vibe. You know, the rolling down the windows listening ot sublime driving down pch (pacific coast highway) whole deal. That really is how i vibe. New york, however, is like a rushing freeway of bright lights, honking cars, HUGE throngs of people and such a fast pace it's almost dizzying. Not being able to rest or slow down from the second one steps out of their house or apartment until the time they come back at night really mkaes me tired just thinking about it. Idunno if i'm going to get used to it, or if i'll always be a slow paced chillin california kinda guy. it's definitely a change though. i've got one more minute to gill (fill) and i;ll leave you with this: I'm quite cautious about assuming or not assuming things about a preson because i can't stand it when people assume things about me, so please it would be lovely if whoever is reading this could simply take each post at face value, and not assume things about me. Each post will most likely represent something happening in my head or my life at the time posted, but not necessarily about me as an entire person.